Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
