Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
