did you get engaged???
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
