another moral hangover. fuck.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
