there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
