I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
