Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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