We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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