just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
