so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
