Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
so much tequila, so little girl.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
