I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
