Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
