I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
