I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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