so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
