we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
