batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
