if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
