so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
