He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
