So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
