I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
