If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
