I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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