piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
drinking out of a sandbucket again
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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