wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
