i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Lo siento on account of my penis...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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