well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
