hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
