she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
