i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
