I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
