i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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