Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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