It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
