What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
