So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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