Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
