Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
