My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
