there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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