I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
