My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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