I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
