i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
