There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
