Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
