I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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