nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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