I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
