I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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