don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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